Why I Stopped Watching The Following

Do you watch The Following? I love me some Kevin Bacon, so tuned in for the first few weeks and loved it. Then it started to feel too violent. Sometimes unnecessarily violent. And then it felt like while I was watching and snacking on a bowl of popcorn some psychopath in the US was also watching with more sinister intentions. As the show continued it just seemed like the life of sadistic killers was becoming too sexy and exciting. But, I kept watching.

Then Sandy Hook happened and I told Matt I just couldn't watch anything violent and we just needed to turn off the tv for a while. And then the bombs went off in Boston. It was all so terrible and heavy and made me realize how vulnerable each of us are as we go about our daily lives. I haven't watched The Following since. It's scary to realize the fragility of life, which is the single most frightening aspect of being a parent. The Following made me feel like anyone could be a target, but I was able to remind myself it was a tv show. The shootings and bombings were suddenly real life. You can't escape reality (well, you can, but I'm not really into psychedelics).

We can't stop leaving the house and taking our kids to school and going to the grocery store, I know this. So, I wonder if this is our new reality... Are tragedies like Sandy Hook and attacks like the Boston bombings just part of life? I don't want to admit that could be the truth.

While reading A Constellation of Vital Phenomenon I was reminded of the charmed life most Americans live compared to the majority of the world. I had to keep reminding myself that much of the book took place in 2004 in Chechnya. In 2004!!! As in when I was living the care-free existence of a 20-something in the city. Yet one of the main characters in the book was likely the same age and returned to her ravaged homeland after the start of a promising medical career in London. Fear of landmines, living in a seemingly lawless land, and the devastation that surrounded them was a reality... The fragility of life an actual concern every moment, not just something on television or the news.

I'm still not planning to watch The Following anymore. I'm sorry, Kevin Bacon, I love you and your skinny ties, but the world doesn't need any more ideas on how to hurt each other.

This post was inspired by the novel A Constellation of Vital Phenomena by Anthony Marra. In a war torn Chechnya, a young fatherless girl, a family friend, and a hardened doctor struggle with love and loss. Join From Left to Write on May 20 as we discuss Anthony Marra's debut novel. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Beckett: Age 2

Beckett is two. In some ways I can't believe he is ONLY two. A lot has happened since he was born, but it's hard to believe how the days fly by.

Beckett is the most charming trouble maker you'll ever meet. He loves to entertain and get a laugh and is constantly up to something. If he sees an opportunity for mischief, he takes it. There's a little gleam in his eyes as he runs around the house quick as he can. Speaking of, Beckett is extremely quick and light on his feet. He's agile and has great awareness of his body. His signature move is running away from you and diving under the closest piece of furniture.

Beckett loves Thomas the Train, Elmo, and the movie Rio. He thinks super heroes are super cool, especially Batman. Other than Batman, he calls every other super hero "Hulk." His favorite song is "Troublemaker" by Olly Murs. He insists on having daily dance parties to it.

Our blond haired, blue eyed angel face is a fearless climber and jumper, but is very clingy when introduced to new social situations. Once comfortable, he runs around like crazy and easily plays with other kids. However, Beckett is not a fan of sharing and is extremely possessive of his things. His best friend and cousin C is often at the receiving end of high-pitched shrieks of "Mine!" He's a passionate little fellow and things like getting his haircut or getting sized for new shoes result in intense screaming and crying. But his passion also leads him to practicing jump moves off the couch for 20 minutes or running at a low chair to jump and spin in the air perfectly for the better part of an afternoon.

Beckett loves being outside and it's one of the main things that lead him to a tantrum (poor guy has to watch people come and go a lot). He is a terrific companion for errands, as he's always happy just to be asked along. He is quiet and content in the car and terrific in shopping carts.

A very picky eater, Beckett's main source of nutrition is milk. He also enjoys hummus, eggs, cheese, and chocolate. His very favorite thing is french fries or chips. Otherwise, he won't eat much of anything.

Beckett is sweet and cuddly and extremely loving... when he wants to be. He likes everything on his terms and - if you can catch him - will reward you with generous hugs when he's in the mood.

Beckett has a great sense of comic timing, loves playing it up for a laugh, but is the most temperamental kid you might ever meet. He completely understands everything and his speech is starting to get better, which gives him a lot of pride.

While complete opposites in almost every way, Beckett adores his older brother.... But isn't afraid to get scrappy when he needs to. Overall the two of them have a sweet relationship and play well together. He is extremely sweet with his baby sister and his other favorite thing to say is "baby cry." He hates to hear her cry.

We're so lucky to have Becks as our little boy. He is joyous and rambunctious and mischievous and sweet and crazy and runs into life at full speed. Man, I love this kid.

Previous Birthday Post:

• Beckett: Age 1

A Girl In Boy's Clothes

She's adorable, right? Granted I'm biased, but seriously... Look at that face. I'll say it again: LOOK AT THAT FACE. Does it look like a boy's face to you? Because whether I dress her in pink or blue people always refer to her as a boy... every where we go. It could be her bald head.

Whatever it is, I don't really care. Everyone calls B a girl due to his curly blond locks and tiny little features. It hasn't made me cut his hair and it won't make me stop dressing her in cute blue outfits. I have them, might as well use them, right?

BubbleBum Inflatable Seats Give Away

We're in preschool now. We have friends and play dates and lots of offers to pick up each other's kids. That's what moms do: we pick up each other's kids. We throw them in the back and act like it's no big deal. We pile them in and unload them when we get home. But our kids are still in car seats and boosters, so it can be complicated.

W is just about to transition from his car seat to a booster. We're still keeping him strapped into his Britax for now, but pretty soon he'll be in a booster. This is the age when car seats get weird. They're bulky and expensive and you always seem to need an extra one. It's hard being the mom who doesn't have the extra booster. W can fit into his Britax, but a lot of his friends are bigger than him and cannot.

A while ago I was given the opportunity to try out a BubbleBum. They launched this cool new product at the beginning of 2013 and did a roll out at Target. Cool, huh? I was originally supposed to be part of the launch, but W didn't weigh enough to test the seat and you can see by my lack of posting that the blog has fallen way down on my list. But, this is a call product and I'm true to my word. I only do give aways that I think my readers will like and/or find useful and this one fits the bill.

So, I'm finally giving one away to a lucky reader! I have readers still, right? I kid... I know there are two of you left!

Let me tell you about the BubbleBum... It's the first inflatable booster seat designed to make travel and car pooling safe. It deflates small enough to be kept in a large purse or back pack. It's pretty genius. W doesn't weigh enough to get in one of these yet, but I'm excited to try it out when he does. It already has its spot in our car and when I practiced using it, I found it to be really easy.

Holy crap, is this my future or what?!? Except without the red hair. And perfectly smiling kids.

If you don't have time to run out to your local Target to grab one, you're in luck! Enter to win one here...

Here's how to enter:

1. Comment on this post and share your favorite trick to make carpooling easy. Be sure to include an email address if it doesn't connect back to your blog. (You must comment to be entered!)

2. Follow Hannemaniacs. (Look on the right side bar to follow.) Click on the "Join this Site" button.

3. Like the Hannemaniacs Facebook page.

4. Follow Hannemaniacs on Twitter.

5. Mention this giveaway to your network on Facebook and/or Twitter (one entry for each) by pasting this in your status: Enter to win a BubbleBum inflatable booster at www.hannemaniacs.com. 

6. Like the BubbleBum Facebook page.

7. Follow BubbleBum on Twitter.

Please let me know which of the above actions you have done to be counted. That's a lot of entry opportunities!

Contest ends at 5 pm Friday, April 12th. Enter now!

THE WINNER (chosen on Random.org): Vanessa.

If you did not win, you can purchase your BubbleBum at Target. Find your store with this locator or visit one of these Chicagoland Target locations: Alton, Normal, Rockford, Glendale Heights, Naperville, Gurnee, Moline, Peru, Tinley Park, Broadview, and Bourbonnais.

Disclosure: I received one complimentary BubbleBum and one to give away to a reader. All opinions are my own.

Watching For Dyslexia

Matt is dyslexic. It's a big part of who he is, yet isn't something that most people know. Why? Because his parents hired specialists, tutors, and did everything they could to give him every opportunity to succeed, to ensure he didn't get lost along the way. So, I don't really think of it very often. But, I know it's always on Matt's mind, especially now with three little kids.

It started with W. Matt would admit he was worried about passing on his dyslexia. The common belief that boys are more likely to be dyslexic than girls (though this is not actually true) was his first concern. And then when W started showing that he was right-handed, Matt sighed with relief that his chances of not being dyslexic were that much better (lefties are more likely to be dyslexic than righties). And then B was born... And it started again. Now with A, the wheels are turning again...

Neither of us know what's buried deep in our kids' genes, but the concern is always there that they could inherit some of our traits that we hope were strained out along the way. Yeah, they might be dyslexic, but it could be worse. And, let's face it, special education has come a long way. But to Matt dyslexia will always be the memory of him as a little boy sitting in class, frustrated about being forced to read out loud or recite a multiplication table. For him growing up as a student with dyslexia in a rural school meant being kept inside at recess time with a girl with a lisp and a speech therapist. The school had to offer him services and that was their version. And it's the voice of that little boy inside of him that freaks him out that our kids might feel what he felt for even a second.

I'm no expert on education or teaching, but we all know that schools don't teach in a way that benefits children who aren't mainstream learners. Memorization is one of those things that didn't come easily to Matt. He had a third grade teacher who told him that if he didn't memorize the months in order he would never get out of the third grade. Guess what? He still struggles with reciting the months in order. And he graduated from high school, earned his Bachelor's, then went to film school for grad school and graduated from there as well. Today he works in a job that revolves around television schedules every day.

So, even if our kids struggle, I'm assured they'll have a terrific role model in their dad. They're lucky kids already

This post was inspired by Raising Cubby: A Father and Son’s Adventures with Asperger’s, Trains, Tractors, and High Explosives by John Elder Robison. Parenting is a challenging job, but what challenges does a parent with Asperger's face? Join From Left to Write on March 12 as we discuss Raising Cubby. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Swimming Lessons: Should Progress Be More of a Concern?

W has been in swimming lessons since June 2012. We go once a week. Same pool, same lane, same teacher, same routine... Same level. We take him to a swim school. It isn't cheap, but my goal was for him was to be comfortable with water by the summer of 2013 and I was confident that would happen at this place. He didn't need to learn to swim in a year, just develop a comfort level in the water.

He doesn't love swimming lessons. He likes it, but it's often a struggle to get him out the door and there is a lot of whiny questioning of how long he has to take swimming lessons. My answer to him is always the same: "Forever. You will be in swimming lessons until you are a good swimmer, which will seem like forever." 

There are six things he has to master before moving on to the next level and he's done four of those things. While there has been plenty of improvement, he still won't let go of the instructor to try to float on his back for five seconds. Until he does that he'll stay at the level he's at.

His instructor looks at me each week and assures me W is doing better. I tell him that I know, but I can tell he expects me to be more frustrated. I'm a competitive person by nature. But this is one situation when I'm going to focus on the improvements that I see in him every week, rather than what the school uses to determine his progress. Is it wrong that I'm not?

Nanny Break Up

"It's not me, it's you." That's basically the text I received last week from our new nanny. After a search on Care.com, Neighborhood Parents Network, and through my own personal network, I chose who I thought was really the best fit for our family. If we were dating, I would say that I made the safe choice, someone that I was comfortable with, seemed fun, but wasn't out of my league.

I went back to work last Monday, but she needed an extra week due to an unexpected death in her family, so I took off the rest of the week. I spent a couple of days introducing her to the kids, showing her around the house, brought her to preschool. After Day 2 I received a text message at 1 am. She informed me that she wasn't going to return the next day, because she "bit off more than she could chew." I saw the text at 3 am and spent the next few hours freaking out.

I don't have any hard feelings for her. I'm thankful that she was honest with herself and me. This isn't an easy job. A four year old, 20 month old, and three month old is a BIG job. And B is incredibly active. But I warned her about all of that and she said she was up for it. I was up front about what our life is like. There was no sugar coating it. Looking back, I was probably ignoring the fact that she didn't jump in as I would have liked, allowed me to change most of the diapers, make lunches, and kept repeating how fun and energetic the kids were again and again.

In her defense, she started at the most complicated time in our house... Matt had been caught in New York the weekend before and a lot of the stuff we were planning on doing wasn't done. We had been rearranging furniture and bookshelves. I wanted to see if things would grow on me, but they only cramped our house and made it feel crazy. So, there were things out of order (that's a generous way of explaining it). A had an ear infection and I was averaging maybe four hours of sleep each night (she spent the days crying and I looked/acted like a zombie). To compound these issues our house cleaner was here, which is tough in a house as small as ours. It was a lot. And we probably didn't put our best face forward. But, seriously, if she couldn't handle the worst, then she's not the right person for the job.

It just feels weird to be broken up with by a nanny via text message. I don't have any closure. It sucks. Luckily we didn't have cell phones when I was in high school, because this is no way to end a relationship.

The thing that makes me feel the worst is that W and B really liked her. Just today W was telling Matt how fun she was and when I went to his preschool on Friday, I was complimented on my new nanny choice by the director. That stung a little. Once a relationship is over you don't want to hear about how great your ex is, right?

So, I did what happens after a break up. I went back to the safe place. I altered the days that I need childcare and hired back a former sitter who I know will be reliable for the couple of weeks while I find a permanent replacement.

This weekend we put the furniture back where it belonged, packed up all the books we didn't need, and got better control of the house. I took a break from searching after having Childcare PTSD. But tomorrow I'll jump back online and start the long process once again.Wish me luck.